What's this girl thinking about?

So, I feel I am long remiss in writing a real blog about my real time and what is filling it....

Lots of stuff.  :)  And I guess, blogging isn't making it to the list. :)

But, as I know I'm about to be busy for the next week or so, I thought I'd try to take ten minutes and give a little recap.

First, nothing huge or existential is going on... just the normal drum beat of family life, end of a semester (due to Mark's role with college students in Africa, my role as teaching/grading 11 of their papers), people leaving (a very good friend, a family, our normal neighbors who go for 3-4 months, etc), travels (mark gone for two weeks, now i'm going for one week), grocery shopping, house organization, schedule organization, planning for the summer, planning for next year, planning for the life when everything makes sense (I'm including a link for anyone who thinks of the future as when it "all comes together"
http://momastery.com/blog/2012/04/10/the-sun-will-come-out-tomorrow-but-its-also-out-today/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-sun-will-come-out-tomorrow-but-its-also-out-today)

Anyway, I realized in my blog-reading that one thing that is refreshing is when the writers are more emotionally "raw" or honest but I'm afraid that may not be my forte--in writing or in life.  I love the stage after, the analytical one.  But, I do think there is something more encouraging or comforting in the "blaagh..." part of our living.  And if I could, I would outline the day to day emotions.  But I'm not sure I know what they are.

My emotional update right now: Ambivalence. I feel the ambivalence of a season which is about to change-- a friend leaving; a school decision for the kids (more to come on that later); a situation here that was all "balled up" as my brother used to say; me starting a masters degree; a summer visit home with family (and I hope some friends! :); a growing sense that "the life you save may be your own"-- I'm responsible for my own spiritual formation and maturity; and generally a calm that things will come together laced with apprehension--"have i thought through all the angles, anticipated the right things, is this best for everyone that I'm responsible for and not about selfish ambitions, vain conceits?"....

There you have it, the best vague allusions to my emotional state and the things that are occupying my time!