A Christmas confession, is it not too late?

The things I haven't done....

I mentioned in a prior post that I should have an idea book and write things down but then not say them because then my failure to do 1000 great ideas would somehow be more comical than depressing.  

So, this is a sort of retro-active idea confessional for my life in the last month prior to the book that might save me from feeling accountable for what words I spoke into reality. 

Here is a list of some things that I felt sure I could/should/would do this Advent/Christmas season.  

1. Watch A Christmas Story with Mark and Daniel on some cozy night with cocoa and Christmas cookies

2. Read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

3. Show a Christmas movie at Sunday school

4. Organize some awesome group of carolers to go around to houses before Christmas 

5. Do some sort of Christmas activity/party at one of the local projects we know about (orphans, blind children, international students, staff children who are home for holidays)

6. Do an art class or two for any/all interested staff children

7. Plan thoughtful Advent activities for our children for each sunday of Advent

8. Have a real meal at our table on the sunday of advent with the advent candles, etc. 

9. Write thoughtful cards to friends and family (if you got one, consider yourself very lucky--you were among the elite of about 5-10 that I might have managed this year)

10. Make sugared pecans

11. Do something particularly nice for the USP interns

12. Organize the photographs on my computer (for future Christmas gifts!:)

13. Figure out what is best for each of our children regarding schooling, this coming term and forever!

14. Make thoughtful gifts for someone

So, the fact is that I think I might still be able to do a few of these things and since I've already said them out loud, and now written them in a public blog, I can either consider it all a colossal confession or perhaps proudly report back in a few weeks that I did do a couple of these things.  And think of all the things that I haven't listed from the past week that are now discreetly sealed into my notebook of "ideas" that don't become commitments. 

At times, I consider these unfulfilled ambitions to be a result of having younger children, and this particular Christmas, a result of sick children (and sick me).  At times, I also acknowledge that it is part of me to brainstorm away and then get bogged down with some level of perfectionism or self-protection (if I put time and energy into this and it doesn't work or isn't appreciated, I'll be hurt)  At times, I think I need more of a partner in crime or more personal discipline to help me actualize the scheming.  And as with all of life, all these explanations are overlapping so I never will come up with an exact explanation that results in me becoming the awesome-hospitable-creative-inclusive-extroverted-adaptable-non-praise-seeking-spiritually driven-inspirational-selfless-flow-with-it woman that may exist in some scenario in my minds eye.  

Does it count as a a new idea that I should perhaps be making less "to-do" lists and add more "seeking for peace in accepting who I am and who I'm not!"