I'M ALONE!

Woman holding a balance by Johannes Vermeer

I feel the need to rush and write this before it is no longer true. 

I'm alone.  In my own house.  And I love it!

Anyone who has lived in Uganda, and more specifically has seen our "state of affairs" will know why this is a bit miraculous.  Now I should qualify that Felix may be outside my bedroom window (which is why I pulled the blinds) raking dry grass and leaves.  And I think Steven is pumping our water tank so should I pass by my porch, I might signal to the gardening crew that I can be interrupted. 

But Edith and our girls went down to visit Dorothy at her place.  Daniel is at school. Mark is at the office. And all USP staff and students are on their way to rural homestays in the eastern part of the country. 

When I'm honest, this reality of communal life and "privacy, what???" is a struggle to me.  I have mostly adapted and accepted. I try to focus on the positives; praise the merits of having help around the house; having people who will watch out for us and our household, having friends, having a back up system, having neighbors and community.  A friend of mine who will be leaving this year is trying to prepare herself for American individualism, privacy, lack of communal identity, lack of greetings, etc, etc.  But in my tired moments, I feel like I could lock myself in a room for quite awhile before I felt that I was lonely and lacking for things to do, read, write, listen to, watch, cook, clean, make, etc....  

I know this is also a reality of motherhood; the constancy of people needing you.  And so I picked this picture to illustrate what  a quiet painting looks like to me, a corner alone... what is this woman "weighing" or "balancing"... When we do have those still quiet moments, what do we consider, weigh, and ponder?