I cannot write my blog today said little Abby Bartels McKay

First, if you don't know the Shel Silverstien poem, you can read it here

http://www.lbdsoftware.com/icantgotoschool.html

But the allusion is because I feel that my "long week" became a "long month" which I am praying is now ending as I enter October. 

My youngest, Rachel, had a bad wound from a fall that then became an abscess and I won't go into details but I think she's now on the mend.  And meanwhile, Mary has been bravely getting her cavities filled.  As far as I know, the dentist and doctor trips and visits are now subsiding and I might get those pockets of time that I remember in days of yore. 

One theme that this time of intensive mothering/nursing has highlighted is that it is very hard to take on very time-sensitive/dependent tasks and still provide a certain level of "availability" in times of child crisis or need.  

I have no solutions to this problem.  I have no counsel to other mothers or women deciding to become mothers.  I can only say that on a very personal and pragmatic level, I think it is very hard to discern what level of "outside the home" commitments one can make while children are young.  This may only apply in my context, but I must say many a mother worldwide as come to mind in that I know that even if you have them in a "state-of-the-art" daycare/preschool/montessori etc, there are times they are too sick or wounded to be taken out of the home.  

So, with health improving, and a new month upon us, here's hoping to return to some of the less committed tasks that are meaningful and mostly life-giving!  A recent option for me was, take deep breaths and in the time available for the next couple years, do activities that give me joy and keep waiting on the "productivity" piece because it will inevitably lead to frustration and failure.  But a pile of books, a stack of some craftsy projects, some disciplines in exercise and spirituality, some online writing and photo books and communication with friends--- those are things that will keep me fulfilled but not lead to the level of stress that isn't good for me, my marriage or my mothering!