Christmas on the equator

Pictured above: Mark and I got a night away (and two days) at a lovely place on the Nile... It is built in and among a rocky island and we were the only guests that night.  A perfect time to breath deep, sleep long, not be interrupted, and soak in the beautiful Nile.

Pictured below: We joined our good friends the Atherstones for a two night visit to their place.  One day we went for a hike in a rain-forest and enjoyed the foresty aspect of Uganda's tropical geography.  About 30 minutes in, our smaller companions were about done with that adventure.

Love calls us to the things of this world...

Late afternoon light--my favorite... the tree from my mom, maybe from her sister? The nativity is made of olive wood and brought to me after my parents went to Israel a couple years ago. 

Nothing like homemade nature muffins and self-dressed girls!

A thing of beauty is a joy forever

The creative process knows no time limits and brings unconditional joy

Abby, Advent and the paradoxes

Blogger's update: I've had a little "hiccup" that I'm working on that requires way too much computer knowledge for me! When I try to upload photos, it tells me that my storage is full and I have to buy more.  Yikes.  Not quite ready to commit to that.  But I think I can learn other ways of posting photos (i.e. I put this on my desk top and than pasted it on) 

A throw back to days of yore! Daniel at two decorating for Christmas

So, in general, I would say that I very much connect with the Advent and Christmas season.  And I hope over the course of this season to include some posts about why that is true.  

I don't think that until last year I had quite put together the liturgical "seasons"-- that Advent begins the Four Sundays before Christmas and that Christmas begins with Christmas day and 8-40 days longer depending on your background.  In my search to be accurate, I found the following description regarding the "season of Christmas":

When and how long is Christmas?

• Christmas Day, liturgically called "The Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord" in the Catholic Church, technically includes both Christmas Eve (Dec. 24, after sunset) and Christmas Day (Dec. 25) itself. For religiously observant Christians, however, Christmas is not just one day, but an entire season, lasting anywhere from 12 days to 40 days in different ecclesial traditions.
• In the modern secular world, Dec. 26 already begins the "after-Christmas" sales, and Christmas decorations are often removed before New Year's Day! The "Christmas Season" (for shopping, decorating, parties, music, etc.) used to begin just after Thanksgiving Day (in the United States), but now seems to begin just after Halloween (Oct. 31), if not before! When people hear about the "Twelve Days of Christmas" (or sing the song by that title), they might think it refers to the last 12 shopping days before Christmas.
• In most Christian traditions, however, the "Christmas Season" properly begins with Christmas Eve (after sunset on Dec. 24), while the "Twelve Days of Christmas" refers to the period from Dec. 25 to Jan. 5.
• In different Churches, the Christmas Season might end on Jan. 6 (the traditional date of the Feast of the Epiphany), or might last until the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord (usually the Sunday after Epiphany), or might even last all the way to Feb. 2 (the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord, 40 days after Dec. 25).

So, more to come, but I think the Advent season resonates with me because it is a season where at the same time you repent and rejoice, mourn our human condition and take hope in our human condition, grieve about our broken world and find meaning in our broken world.  Whereas Lent and Easter are somehow a bit more linear (first we repent, then we rejoice); it seems to me that Advent allows us to be walking paradoxes of our despair and hope, pain and beauty, loneliness and companionship, suffering and joy, human and spiritual, etc.  

A trip to Maureen's place

Due to my internet speed, I think that I'm not able to post the videos that would really express the culture of childhood and Uganda as well as these photos or my words.  

Yesterday, we went up to visit a preschool that my friend has started in her village.  I've known Maureen for almost ten years.  We first met her as a secondary school student studying in a school where our friends (MCC volunteers) were teaching.  She then attended university at UCU, and has been here for many years as a teacher in Writing and Study skills.  She is working on her Masters in Literature.   She spends half her time working in higher education and half her time devoted to the people in her village; specifically the young children who inspire her to pour her time and energy into their brighter future.  

Maureen is special and I was glad to visit and see the work of her hands in her village.  But she also represents many Ugandan friends of ours who use their time and talents for those who are less privileged--especially their friends and family and community in the villages they come from. 

A  serious strength of Ugandan childcare/education---singing and dancing

I brought a craft-- we're blowing paint for designs

Becky (our tutor for Daniel) and I are with Maureen and her the teacher 

Daniel and Steven Boyy with the kids "posing"

Getting all files and uniforms sorted out before the kids long vacation (in Uganda, the long vacation in December and January not June and July)

Posing--this little girls kept following me around for poses! This is their classroom for now-- they are renting from the district headquarters.

Maureen has several small business that are helping her get money for starting the school--this is the shoe shop!

This is the saloon (they call it saloon not salon here)--Women prioritize hair and fashion even with small budgets!

Thanksgiving: a work day! :)

First a funny: (this really just cracks me up)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmXfWqaJevg&feature=relmfu

But on to a description of a Thanksgiving in Uganda with American college students...

I'm very curious to have Thanksgiving as a family one day as the whole time we've lived in Uganda, thanksgiving is a "work" day-- a day to host the students and give them a small taste of the homeland.

Football match; Mark is quarterback, Daniel ready to run!

Corn Hole: a student made these last year and the game and its universal appeal has won me over

A lawn set-up...not glamorous but it works! And there were no speeches ala Ugandan-event-protocol!

Students make dessert for thanksgiving which is its own process-- and now the finishing process!

Boys and girls and art therapy

Pretty excited that I now get portraits done of me-- self-portraits never seem capture this expression!

Won't go into an anaylsis of boys and girls.  Won't go into an analysis of whether we should be letting Daniel watch Pirates of the Caribbean and Indiana Jones.  I'll just let the viewer ponder a bit.

"I don't feel that different"--Mary the day after her 5th birthday

A little ode to the past helps one appreciate the present a bit more!

She started out cute!

On her 5th birthday, i came in from a walk and found Mary cuddling with Mark.   I said, I don't know who is getting the gift here.  And she said, "This is Dad's best present."  And this photo documents the origins of it all.

Daniel, despite some impishness, does have a loyalty to his sisters.  This birthday, Daniel was so excited to give Mary her present, he begged and succeeded in giving it to her the night before.

The love between Dorothy and Mary also began early!

A winning smile and bright eyes

Birthday cake with sister and friends!

I had designed the icing, but Mary added the real rose in the middle!

Some images for the mystery

2 Corinthians 4:8-11

we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

I do and I don't  understand this bible verse.  But I think I was drawn to the small watercolor that I got from both sets of my parents last year because it expresses a sort of overwhelming thing that can overtake us but also expresses a sort of simple standing with light behind and around us that is also assuring.  Its both scary and reassuring at the same time.  

Our tree in a rain storm

Martha Stewart comes to Mukono?

The following is a very-loose description of how to prepare a "stuffed" pumpkin-- seems the perfect "tweener" recipe between Halloween and Thanksgiving

First: Scoop out the pumpkin

Second: scoop out sides according to how much "stuff" you want in the pumpkin

Layering: pasta, beef, tomato, garlic, onion, salt, olive oil

And another layer

Toothpicks to keep the lid on while steaming

Banana stalks and leaves on the bottom to prevent burning

Edith with the banana gear around her

Covering the pumpkin with layers of banana leaves

The pumpkin at the end of 2 hours, with banana leaves removed

The scooped out pumpkin and pasta stew

Now a few more details:

1.  We cooked this on top of the stove.  If you were in the US, what would replace banana leaves? Foil? A proper steamer? Can we ask for banana leaves at our local grocery stores?

2. Ugandans also try stuffed pumpkins with pasta and ground nut sauce

3. Usually you would use broken up spaghetti--i think the bow-tie noodles took longer to cook--at one point, we opened the pumpkin and added some water to the pasta mixture.

4. Because the pasta was taking long, the pumpkin over-cooked.  It tasted good, but i think normally you would scoop the pasta out and then serve a wedge of pumpkin.  This pumpkin was so soft that I had to scoop the pumpkin out with the pasta. 

5. I'm definitely going to try this again with some different fillings inside as I do love local pumpkins.  

6. When I told my friend about this "project," she told me about a recipe from Barbara Kingsolver for pumpkin soup in a pumpkin.  I am adding the link because I think it is perhaps designed for American cooks and ingredients and realities (i.e. if banana leaves not available): http://www.animalvegetablemiracle.com/recipes-fall-pumpkin-soup-in-its-shell.htm

Halloween in Uganda

So, as you can imagine, there is no "fall" and therefore, no "fall" holidays in the equatorial land of Uganda. 

But never fear, the kids still trick-or-treated with the best of them!

Sadly, I don't have a picture of Daniel but he decided to be the headless horseman which basically worked out well.  A couple wrinkles-- he wanted our dog to be the "horse" which after the first house (at our immediate neighbors) proved to be difficult.   So, Mark had to become part of the costume--the headed father of the headless horseman who walks the dog/horse.  Our friend Brian joined us on the path and he'd just returned from leading his law students towards another trophy for Moot court competitions agains the oldest, biggest University in Uganda.  Somehow, this picture seemed to capture some of the disjointed, odd, good, real parts of our lives--- two dads, a dog, a trophy,-- in the middle of Uganda following a pack of costumed children up the hill to trick or treat. 

Daniel's line at the end of the night, "i think I won't ever be anything that means you have to wear a box on your head for the whole evening." (He had a box with a cut-out and a men's suitcase on top so it appeared that he had no head)

And our friends still hosted an after-party which included Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin.  It was one of those movie moments when you do become a child again as the youngest viewers popped up and danced at the appropriate times and laughed like Snoopy at other times.  

As with many aspects of life in Uganda, there was the moment of cognitive dissonance as we passed our friend Olivia on the path.  She is the head of theology, helped open the daycare on center on campus; as a person she is lovely and wise and compassionate.  She invites us to her kids birthday parties at her house, has a great laugh and generally is the salt of the earth.  As we troop by their house, she laughingly said, what is this?  I said, "trick or treat" and she said, oh, yes, I can see.  She has lived in Scotland where she did her Phd, she has kids the ages of our kids and we are marching by to collect candy from her neighbor.  Sigh, as Mark says, i don't think Ugandans are thinking about us much at all--their lives are full, they have commitments, and schools, and family functions, etc, etc.  But, nonetheless, in my visions of a better self, a more integrated life, all campus kids could be part of the fun.  In reality, how many kids is that, are they at boarding school, how expensive would it be for those families to buy hundreds of candies, etc, etc...  For now, I live with the tension, try to tell myself that whatever small traditions helps keep the expatriate staff content and endure in a foreign land is a net-good for all.  And yet, I confess that I live with some of the "free-floating" guilt as my mom calls it and I don't need to rationalize it away. 

Right brain/Left brain

As a follow-up to "the kids are mostly healthy now," I'm back to my Psych 101. :)

This week's chapter is on the brain and of course that is endlessly fascinating.  Definitely studying it makes me think of the verse, "we are fearfully and wonderfully made".

I've long said that Mark and I have many similar values and yet there are areas we are so different.  I often try and figure out those differences along gender lines or personality testing and those are surely factors.  But the distinct difference that I know is true is that I operate more out of my right brain and he operates more out of his left brain.

This makes sense to anyone who knows us well; but I've stumbled upon a small passage in my textbook that has shed more light onto our differences.

"Negative emotions are associated with greater activation of the right hemisphere, but positive emotions tend to produce greater activation in the left hemisphere" (Canli et al., 1998; Davidson, Shackman & Maxwell, 2004).

Hmmmm...... very interesting.   So, now let me launch into my own theories which probably constitute "anecdotal evidence" which my text book has warned me against....

I think I often operate in the world of possibilities, future, imagination, scenarios, anticipation, etc... these can be gifts that allow one to be a thoughtful friend, plan well for one's family, think through the bigger picture, imagine possibilities and help them come to fruition, etc.  HOWEVER, I think this same trait means that the present realities or unfoldings of all those dreams/schemes, etc, often doesn't actually "feel" the same way it did in the imagining stage.  I suspect many right-brain heavy people live with a constant disappointment, frustration, etc that they may turn on themselves (low self-esteem--i should have known better), may turn on others (blame--it would have worked if you hadn't done such and such), or perhaps more of a general depression that the world will always disappoint and that all is meaningless, etc.

The left-brain dominant person is living much more in the here and now, with all the data and information that can predict behavior or expectations based on logical analysis from the past, etc. They tend to be very steady emotionally and generally have appropriate expectations about their plans and how they will feel about them.  Because they have appropriate expectations, they are mostly positive about the plans they make and the experiences that they are able to predict.  The weakness for the left-brain person is if they have to prepare for an unknown situation, adapt and be spontaneous with things they can't plan for.  They also may suffer from inability to imagine another person's response to the situation.  From the left-brain people I know, they may also adapt to these weaknesses by avoiding a life with too many unknowns or unpredictable scenarios.

I'm assuming that no one is reading this an needing a serious diagnosis regarding why they have more positive or negative emotions but I did find this brain-break-down added a bit more explanation.  And when Mark and I have our act together, we're the perfect brain! :)

Grateful

“Thou that hast given so much to me give me one thing more, a grateful heart: not thankful when it pleaseth me, as if Thy blessings had spare days, but such a heart whose pulse may be Thy praise.”

― George Herbert

My mom has shared this quotation with me over the years, and I must confess it is wedged in my brain, a regular refrain to return to when the days have seemed long or hard. 

Last night I realized was the second night I had not given any children medicine in what I think may be almost six weeks.  

And I'm grateful.  Grateful that they are well.  Grateful that we've had good medical help along the way.  Grateful that our family has bodies that are mostly designed to fight illness, and to win the fight.  

One part of living in a developing country where there is much less infrastructure and public care for people, is the humbling acceptance that many people will suffer, will not have good care, and do not have bodies/contexts that are able to fight their illness. 

I think over the years my response to this disparity has fluctuated--but in all the rounds of "why the world isn't fair and what are we to do about it", I always come back to gratitude.  Genuine gratitude, not guilt-gratitude. 

We take our students to Luwero to visit some local churches and ministries and there is a lovely Catholic priest who embodies Christ in a very holy way.  On Friday night he shares with our students about the sad and hopeless lives of his parish; the HIV, the lack of resources, the lack of good governance, poor education system, etc, etc.  When he's sharing, our students are gathered around a long table in a simple guest house.  As he shares and they are drawn into this priest's call to live and love his people, their questions of guilt and opportunity start to pour out.  But, what are we, white-privileged-educated-American-etc students supposed to do about a poor African village woman who can't take care of her HIV infected 8 year old?  

"Be grateful."  That is his answer.  What? Is that enough? What does that mean? "Stop complaining. Love your family. Love your opportunity.  Out of the love and gratefulness of your life and opportunity, share with others.  Don't serve for any other reason."  I am paraphrasing a bit, but I do think that this is the key to compassion, service, and responding to suffering (ours and others). 

I'm about to teach Compassion again to our students and Nouwen says, "To persevere without visible success we need a spirit of gratitude.  And angry action is born of the experience of being hurt; a grateful action is born of the experience of healing.  Angry actions want to take; grateful actions want to share.  Gratitude is the mark of action undertaken as part of the discipline of patience.  It is a response to grace.  It leads us not to conquer or destroy, but to give visibility to a good that is already present" (p125). 

Why we love a visit from grandma...

Top ten reasons its nice to have my mom visit (not in an intentional order because that would take too much effort)



1. Reading to the kids
2. Knowing everyone and everything I'm talking about
3. Good advice about parenting and personal goals
4. Not having to pay back any points when she plays with the kids (and I'm in town blogging!:)

5. Little tokens (a card, an article she thought i'd like, a quotation that made her think of me)
6. Suitcases loaded down (we were able to order all our Christmas loot to my parents)
7. Her observations about the kids

8. Her wise counsel on many topics
9. Her model of relationship-priority and personal time-priority (they don't have to be at odds; and will be less so when I don't have young kids)
10. Her gratefulness for any scraps of meals we manage to give them