Something about Mary

There's something about Mary...

Of course, I love each of my children "equally" but really "differently" is a better adverb.  Because they are different, because the interaction of me with each of them is different, because I'm not sure describing love without understanding the fact that the love is ultimately an interaction between two people... 

But I digress... here are some things I love about Mary Mirembe Louise Bartels.  Most of you who know her well at all will not think I'm boasting to say that Mary is by her very nature loving and sweet.  Whether it is a middle child phenomena or just the very fiber of her being, she very much wants to please and to help other people be happy.  She can burst into tears if she thinks someone she loves is sad or worse yet that she made them sad.  For a concrete example, she persuaded me to draw in some figures (her and Rachel) to our Ugly Duckling book... after a string of characters who tell the duckling that she is ugly, "mary" and "rachel" are sitting in the snow banks saying "you are beautiful".   And then one night recently, Mary said, "we should change it so they say 'you will be beautiful' because on the next page he grows up and meets the other grown swans who are beautiful.

This sensitivity about other people's emotions seems a bit related to her environmental "sensitivity"... from a young age she's exhibited keen sensory observation about her environment--sounds, smells, sights, changes, textures, etc.  I'm sure it is partly her age, but I love when she notices things in a picture book that don't make sense.  And now she'll even notice some part of the story that doesn't fit with or isn't resolved enough, etc.  I'm sure we'll have some interesting years ahead as she tries to reconcile racial/cultural issues because she is more sensitive and in tune than Daniel and I think certain things might not be fine with her regarding the discrepancy of wealth and resources and roles and
opportunities, etc.

Recently very into puzzles, a perfect "observation" game for her

No problem that Rachel leans over to blow the candle out with her

Mary is awesome older sister to her very close follower, Rachel.  You never know if you are biased but I've watched a fair amount of children in my day and I think for the amount of possible conflict the two could have, they are very harmonious... and much of that is due to Mary's kind and patient interactions with Rachel.  I've often attributed that also to the amount of care they've had from Dorothy who would definitely prioritize harmony/community over "fairness" or "individuality".

Mary is artistic... yeah... i can't wait to do art with her over the years.  And she has all the natural signs of it... loves to spend long periods of time painting/drawing.  She is very particular and notices what colors and where, etc.  Sadly, she's starting to show the tell-tale perfectionism/frustration when something doesn't quite meet the visual ideal she has in her mind.  She loves nature and noticing "artistic" elements of life (patterns, colors, shapes, uniquenesses, etc).  

Mary is affectionate.  Over to you Mark! :)  I laugh because Rachel copies Mary on many things but there is no doubt about the naturalness of physical affection... mary is genuinely more affectionate--she enjoys giving and receiving affection (as opposed to rachel who copies but basically gives very sidewards, stiff "embraces")  That said, if there is anyone who receives Rachel's heartfelt affection, it is her older sister Mary.

Well, these are just some tidbits, but on her fourth birthday, I wanted to pause and commemorate this special child of ours.